Q: Where do porn webmasters find porn models?

Given today’s lax morals (huzzah!) and the glorification of porn in music videos (huzzah!), salaries as large as $1000 a scene (egad!), it’s not surprising that hoards of sexy, young, wannabe porn stars are practically jumping out of the woodwork (huzzah!). In truth, porn talent has never been so attractive and so willing to do whatever it takes to create a product that helps you, the porn consumer, to get your rocks off (huzzah!). As Sir Rodney’s sainted grandfather, Lord Rodney, once said: “It’s amazin’ what a broad will do for a buck.”

Q: Are “amateur” sites for real?

Some are. Turns out that the Internet, like the real world, is full of people who, for one reason or another, have decided to share their sex lives with everybody else. Some amateur sites actually make money, but many are simply something of a weird hobby. Many amateurs are also “swingers” and, if you’re member of their site, may invite you to “swing” with them if you’re in their city. Should you choose to accept the offer, Sir Rodney recommends that you bring along your full body condom. Now, it’s also true that there are many web sites pretending to be “amateur” that are actually vehicles for professionals. (The so-called “reality sites” – see below – are a good example of this.) In addition, the more attractive amateurs sometimes make the leap to professional and begin appearing in staged porn productions. In short, it’s sometimes difficult to tell the degree to which a site (or a performer) is an amateur. On the other hand, does it really matter, so long as you’re having a good time?

Q: What are “reality” sites? And are they real?

A spate of sites have recently hit the web purporting to film chance encounters between guys with video cameras and women on the street. These sites make it look as if the guy with the camera simply talks the girl into having sex with him, perhaps by offering her money. Sir Rodney hates to blow the gaff on this one, but the girls in these videos are either hookers or aspiring porn actresses and the encounters are staged. If you don’t believe Sir Rodney about this, he suggests that you get a video camera, go out on the street and offer a random female money to have sex with you. You will quickly discover that the line between reality and fantasy is not all that thin.

Q: Are “teen” sites for real?

Teen sites promise that the “talent” depicted on them are either 18 or 19 years of age. (Younger than this is illegal in the U.S.) Sir Rodney can say with complete authority that every performer on your typical teen site was once a teenager, although that may have been a decade ago. Seriously, there is no lack of actual porn starlets who truly are 18 or 19; the problem (if chronological accuracy is your fetish) is differentiating between the real teens and the ones who (with varying levels of success) are merely trying to look like teens. Sir Rodney notes that one company, anabolic.com, launched a line of videos where the starlet shows her driver’s license, which could be compared to the release date on the video in order ascertain her true “teenliness.” Sir Rodney remembers one girl whose ID showed that she had turned 18 only a month before filming a gangbang. During the pre-game interview, she claimed to be still in school, and she wasn’t talking about junior college! Interesting stuff. Anyway, unless other porn companies follow suit, you’ll just have to guess (along with everybody else) whether that pigtailed honey in the cheerleader outfit is really under 20 or is actually 27 and the mother of three kids.

Q: Can I have sex with a porn model?

Oh, mai oui! A triple-x porn model, by definition, is already accepting money for sex. Many big name porn stars, especially those whose careers are on the downswing, pick up extra cash by hooking. If the star has her own site, then she’ll often list her “services” somewhere on the site. Lesser luminaries may show up on escort web sites along with a summary of the adult videos in which they have appeared. However, while Sir Rodney is last to throw cold water on sexual fantasy, he feels obligated to provide a warning. If you dally with a porn star, be prepared to pay twice or thrice as much as you would for a comparatively-endowed unknown. And do not expect the porn star to behave like the wild thing you lusted after in your favorite DVD. Like as not, you’ll be treated with the same level of interest that you might expect from a mechanic hired to do a lube job on your Plymouth. Admit that you’re a big fan and the porn star will probably figure that you’ll be satisfied merely to bask in the presence of greatness, with a fistful of hand cream.

Q: What about escort web sites?

The oldest profession in the world, not surprisingly, has taken to the Internet, big time. In the past, purchasing the services of a hooker was a chancy affair because (unless you could find a brothel) you never knew who (or what) you might end up with. Today, however, the Internet provides photos and even videos and sound clips of the various “providers.” There are even sites like, theeroticreview.com, which provide consumer comments and reviews. Be forewarned, though, that the photos and videos may be out of date (hookers for some reason age really, really fast) and that even a collection of seemingly good reviews could be the result of creative marketing on the part of the girl (or her pimp). Sir Rodney’s advice is that you take everything that you read on an escort site with a great big hunk of salt. And don’t forget that condom!

Q: What about personals web sites?

Yes, it is possible to meet people through personals. Sir Rodney once answered a local “swingers” ad and, after trading info, found out that he was writing to his next door neighbors. (This is an absolutely true story.) Also, the last time that Sir Rodney was single, he used a popular bondage dating site to get back into the scene. However, if you’re interested in trying such sites, you should be aware that around 50 percent of the ads are placed by adult webmasters (those scamps!) trying to drum up business. A good example is an ad that Sir Rodney once saw on a popular dating Web site. It was entitled “Young Gal looking for love” and described a “swf, 21, very open sexually, and loves to explore, so if your under the age of 60, and interested, please e-mail me.” Now, anybody with half a brain would realize immediately that the creature described in this ad could only exist in the mind of an over-50 cigar-chomping pornographer. And indeed, any attempt to contact the lady in question via e-mail resulted in a return message directing the horny reader to a pay site featuring the naked pictures of the girl in question. Such ads are extremely common on personals sites, especially those that are “sexually” oriented as opposed to those that are “romantically” oriented. Even a mainstream personal site like Match.com will have as many as 10% bogus ads. As Sir Rodney’s sainted grandfather, Lord Rodney, once said: “If a deal sounds too good to be true, it’s probably bullshit.”

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